The 5 Most Important Things Ever Said by Donald Trump (hint: sarcasm)

Most of what Donald Trump says has been said before, only better. He’s easily one of the most influential figures in present-day Commercial Real Estate, so hey, maybe there’s a lesson here: if you know what works, work it.

Out of respect for a man Forbes pegs at 2.4 billion (a number Donald considers grossly undervalued), let’s run down to the local SuperCuts, ask for a really awfully bad haircut, and while we’re awaiting immense success, review the five rules of Trump (and who said it better):